The 25 Do's and Don'ts the Teenage Me Learned (Part 3)

#16 "Be determined"
       - For some things determination comes easy for other situations it's really hard.  I always want people to know that they can rely on me so when I tell someone something, and they are really depending on me, I can get it done without problem.  But when it comes to me and my own "priorities" like art projects, cleaning, workouts, and especially my education I tend to put it on the back burner till I ignore it to the point where it is burning down in flames.

#17 "Be that person that people can look up to"
       - Like I was saying in #16 if someone I love is relying on me I make it my mission to not let them down because everyone needs someone that can count on.  Although that's true, being that person that someone looks up to goes farther than that.  We hear these sayings like "lead by example", "take the high road", or "be the better person" because they're true, we need people like that.  Treat everyone like it's their birthday even if they don't deserve it because hopefully that energy will rub off on people. If you really want to be someone's "hero" just do what's morally right even if it's hard because people will respect and look up to that.  I always think of it in perspective of my little cousins.  I think of what kind of older cousin I would've liked to have looked up to and one of the things I focus on is just being there for them.  Not in a determined favor way, just talk with them and know that I'm interested in their lives because I want to be that person they can turn to.  Sometimes that's all what a hero is, just a person that puts someone's lives before their own whether it's big or small.

#18 "Take the consequences for your actions"
       - It's so easy to play the blame game.  I hate "excuses" and I especially hate people who work the system.  In the beginning of this semester I showed up an hour and a half late to my art class (thinking I was early) because I misread my schedule.  It sucked.  I walked in and everyone was already started on their projects and in a moment of shock all I did was say "hi" to my professor.  That's all I said. That's all I needed to say.  He has a very strict attendance policy but I wasn't going to go up to him and say "oh I'm so so sorry it was an honest mistake it'll never happen again" like no. I had a sick, almost humiliating, feeling in my stomach but that's life and I wasn't trying to get out of it.  I should've been more familiar with my new schedule or I should've looked better at the time.  It wasn't anyone's fault but my own. Even though I don't necessary like this word "excuse" and consequences are consequences for a reason, I do believe in hearing someone out.  Sometimes I find myself explaining why I didn't get something done to a teacher because it's almost expected out of us as students but really I'm not looking for an exception.  It's just almost a natural instinct to explain things.  I want to be mature and I want to always be on top of it but the reality is that doesn't always happen so you have to take life's punches.

#19 "Independence is an important quality but know it is okay and healthy for help or guidance from other people"
       - It's good to know that you can do things on your own.  It's also good to know if you can't do something you can figure it out by yourself.  Life can be a little more complicated than that.  We have these things called "deadlines" whether it be for an assignment, something for work, or your life clock ticking (yes, I'm talking about death).  It's nice to know that I live in America, that I have rights, I have resources, and I have knowledge but I'd rather not spend it standing in the garage reading an automotive book looking up every other word and spend the next 50+ years trying to figure out how to change my oil when I have my dad inside the house waiting to do it for me.  This world was meant for people to work together and it's "healthy" because we got to learn how to do it if we want to live peacefully with one another.

#20 "Make time for art. It makes you happy"
       - Isn't it a little sad that I had to put something that makes me happy in my 25 things just so I am reminded of it? It was a problem then and it's a problem now. Although going to art school has definitely keep me busy with art I haven't found that extra time for me to do my own projects and that's what I enjoy doing most.

#21 "Always think about your situations from another point of view"
       - It's a nice trick right?  That our minds are mentally able to give us an overview of what someone else might be going through or maybe just giving us another set of mind.  It may not always be precise but we are able to feel sympathy but yet, a lot of the time, we don't use that power.  We don't take the time to stop what we are doing just to think of a different way of thinking. Sounds simple but everyone's heard of the saying "walk a mile in my shoes" but then a harsh rebuttal is "I don't have a mile to walk in your shoes so I'm just going to judge you anyways".  Because people don't want a reason to sympathize and don't want to take a couple seconds out of their day to see things other than from their own point of view.

#22 "Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future"
       - I just always have loved this. I grew up Catholic and a lot of the people I went to a private school with not only have grown up but they've grown out of the faith.  The spark is still there though.  I can hear it when they talk.  Just like last night I heard my friend say "I feel like I've sinned too much to go to church again.  I want to but I'll feel bad knowing I'll make the same mistakes again and everyone there will judge me."  Majority of people won’t believe that this actually was a conversation; that the setting was actually at a party and how it got brought up because I had to leave before midnight to wake up for church.  I feel those same things she does but there are two decisions; you can either do nothing or keep trying even when you fail. Which one of those will mean more at the end of the day? To know you've tried? Or just gave up?

#23 "If anyone thinks that you're dumb it's their loss that they never got to know the real you"
      - I'm so ditzy! I can be forgetful, ADD, hyper, and blonde (like I say physically artificially but naturally internally). But I should never let myself or anyone else call me dumb.  I may not be the best at math, English, or history. Hell, I may not be the best at anything but I am damn sure I will be one day. I try really hard to do well and I'd be damn if I let my effort be undermined by people calling me dumb.

#24 "If you're not trying to better yourself every day, what are you doing?"
      - My goal in life is to be the best person I can possibly be.  If I am not trying to be better than I am I'm either getting worse or staying the same and what use of life is that?

#25 "Have fun"
       - Have fun with the small things in life.  Sometimes it's as simple as stopping yourself from complaining and actually taking in every moment and how lucky you are to be on this earth.  Just be happy.

That's the 25 things the teenage me has learned.  The experience doesn't stop there though because I am learning something new every day.  I'm looking forward to finding those out and I hope anyone who reads this tries to make their own list.

The 25 Do's and Don'ts the Teenage Me Learned in Life (part 2)

#6 "Be spontaneous with life and do it with open mind"
    -Life can be boring.  The day to day gets more easy to become to cut and dry routine.  I have to remind myself to be more spontaneous because if you give up every opportunity to do something different and adventurous you're taking life for granted. It's important to have an open mind because even if something doesn't sound like "your thing" you wouldn't know what you can get out of it until you do it.  I've tried to be "spontaneous" with something that ended up not for me but even though I knew I wasn't going to do it the next day but I gave it everything I got and had the most fun I could've.

#7 "Know your strengths, conquer your weaknesses"
    -Use the talents that you have to put something into the world.  I like to believe if you put your mind to something you can achieve it and a lot of time it's easy to run from your weaknesses so might as well face them so you don't have to live in fear of them.

#8 "Let the little things go but know what to defend and how to do it"
    - I'm a pretty easy going person.  I know people have different beliefs, cultures, and opinions and I try to respect that.  But there are those know-it-alls with strong opinions about everything and won’t let anything go; they're the people that challenge my patience.   I try to be a mutual party but sometimes it is good to have a strong stance on some things and defend people/things when it calls for it.  Presentation is everything though, I try to approach differences in a way that I can say my peace and not have the conversation turn into atomic bomb.

#8 "Find something and someone to be passionate about"
    - Everyone should have a hobby because everyone deserves an escape.  My problem is that I will find something that I am really passionate about and I will drop it for something else or not schedule any of my time for it.  The "someone" is finally finding someone you want to love for the rest of your life.  This person would be what goes through your head if someone asked you "what could you not live without" rather than thinking pizza.

#10 "Don't just love your family, get to know them"
   -When people have to think of what means a lot to them in life they always say "family" and I always wonder why.  I mean yeah, my family is one of the most important things, they've always been there and obviously shaped who I am but really what is the reason.  I know a lot of people that say family means a lot to them but some of them don't even really talk to their family or just fight all the time. I think people lose the value of "family" as if it is used so much that it is just this idea rather than something you should get involved in.  I can be guilty of this.  I say that I love my family so much but sometimes I will go days without even saying "hi" to my brother.  How can they be the foundation of my life when I don't even spend quality time with them?  (There is a lot more to this but I am not going to get on one of my rants)  All I am saying is just because you spend every day with them does not mean that it is an excuse not to put in effort just as you would a friend.

#11 "It's annoying when people have only one thing to brag about so make sure you have more than one story to tell and constantly live in the moment for them"
    -It's good to have multiple accomplishments.  Get as many crazy memories as you can when you are young so when you are older you can look back and tell your grandkids. (Have fun when you're old too!!)


#12 "Know how to talk to people; speak with sincerity and remember your manners"
     - Communication and good manners goes a long way.  It's impossible to live life and avoid interaction. Don't have a demeanor that is not real because if you constantly have fake emotions it gets harder and harder to be genuine not just to the person you’re talking to but to yourself. 

#13 "Know things that you go through in life builds your character and ultimately reflects in how you deal with them"
     -It is easy to overreact.  It is easy to bottle things up. It is easy to void things out.  It is easy to let things get out of hand.  What is hard is to address the issue in healthy way. Think of any obstacle as a challenge and how you can approach it in a way that will better yourself because how you react in one situation will come back on how you handle other circumstances. It's not always easy but it forms the person you are today.

#14 "Know your limitations but know there are times where you can take risks"
    -Seeing as I said that when you put your mind to something you can accomplish anything.  Well, that doesn't mean that there is a time where you should call it quits.  That doesn't mean forever though, if you can't do something today don't waste your energy on it if it is worth it you can do it another day.  Plus there are a lots of things that you shouldn't set your mind on.  For example, I shouldn't set my mind seeing how many people's lives I can ruin in one day.  There are times where you may think that something is a limitation but at the end of the day it might be better for you to take that risk and sometimes you should just go for it.

#15 "Just saying it's better for people to think that you're crazy than boring"
   -Pretty straight forward.  I'd rather put my "crazy" self out there and have people not understand me and judge me than hold all my personality inside.

The 25 Do's and Don'ts the Teenage Me Learned in Life (part 1)

When I was probably in middle school I was all over the place.  It's kind of typical but I always forgot who I really wanted to be and got more caught up in who everyone else wanted me to be.  I started to pray every night and after I started listing in my notes one thing that I learned or wanted to achieve. I did this for 25 days. Most of them are "generic", probably all heard before in a different version, but they all really meant something to me.  Digging this list up I not only was taken back to those times and those emotions but now I have new thoughts and emotions that go along with them.  The statements go a lot further than just one line so I want to expand on what they mean to me personally then and now. 

1. "You're meant to be something great, act like it"
      -There is way more to life than just doing the motions. Get out there and find what you're supposed to be great at.

2. "Learn how to earn respect from people because respect is key.”
     - I know some people don't respect people right off the back.  You have to want it and show them you’re worth it because respect goes a long way.

3."You never know who you are going to meet so stop acting like a hermit and get out."
     - Staying inside is so easy.  It's hard to deal with people but at the same time there are such great human beings out there and it would be a shame to miss your chance to meet them.  I always want to go out because I never want to miss the chance of meeting my future husband or my maid of honor.  Life is so crazy; if you don't go to Crazy Weston's bonfire... man, you just missed out on an altered future (hopefully not one of going to jail for underage drinking or for putting a goat on top of the barn).

but...

4. "Know it is healthy to have lazy days but try to be somewhat productive with them and use them correctly"
    -Hell yeah I like Netflix and hell yeah I want to watch a whole season of Dexter in one night.  It's nice to let your mind recover from stress and work. But maybe in the mist of my three naps that day I should pick up my room a little bit and delete some of my 2,000 pictures on my phone. Baby things that don't take that much effort but need to be done. I hate to admit it but I don't need a 1,000 selfies of my dog on my phone.

5."Know the difference between long and short relationships."
   -Not everything is meant to last forever. This is a hard one.  I wanted to think that my best friend of 6yrs was always going to be there. But towards the end it was pointless. We started not having that much of fun and stop bettering each other. We needed to stop beating a dead horse and move on so we could find other people that made us happier. It's hard because he was so much a part of my daily routine and so much a part of my heart.  Sometimes God puts people in your life just for a short moment, to get what you need to get achieved and then move on.

6."Surround yourself with people who love you and don't let them belittle what you can be."
    -This kind of goes with 5 in a sense.  There are times we deal with people just because they've been there. Yeah they care about us but they are not always out for our best interest.  Genuine love is hard to come by.  What's a friend, husband, or person that doesn't push or inspire you to be a better person?  People need to not be afraid to cut people out of their lives if they are always putting them down.  If you fill your life with a few people that make you happy and then the rest negative you are wasting your time with them rather than finding people who will fully care and love you.  Most people are scared they wont find anyone that loves them better but if you try hard enough you can find the people that want to see you succeed and let them be the ones that surround you because you deserve it and you will grow.


To be continued...